We start off today rather liquidy as we gaze upon the walls of sports arenas. At one venue the host soccer team advises us that it has an “Official Water Technology Partner.” At another British site, we discover a company called “Victorian Plumbing.” But I guess if you had to wet your whistle there’s always “Pipeline Punch.”
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Call Me By My Rightful Name (Or Not) Dept.
The shameful messes that control European football (i. e., soccer) (UEFA) and world football (FIFA) impose a strict censorship over product mentions during competition broadcasts. That goes as far as preventing announcers from correctly naming the venue if the stadium’s naming rights conflict with a competition sponsor. An example of this took place this past week when Arsenal hosted Shakhtar Donetsk in the UEFA Champions League. Arsenal’s stadium in North London is named after Emirates Airlines, but because of a conflict with a UEFA sponsor (Qatar Airways), the television announcer was made to call the venue “London Stadium.” One big, stupid problem: There is a London Stadium; it is the home field of West Ham United Football Club.
Of course, all this is minor compared to the use of euphemism that seriously undermines political reality. Here’s George Orwell in his essay “Politics and the English Language” 1946:
Defenceless villages are bombarded from the air, the inhabitants driven out into the countryside, the cattle machine-gunned, the huts set on fire with incendiary bullets: this is called pacification. (1)
Whitney Darrow, Jr. contributed this two decades later:
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While we’re on the truth front, here’s J. D. Vance about his involvement in the Haitians' eating cats lies:
“If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what I’m going to do.” (2)
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Here from The New Yorker, Oct. 12, 1968, about Alabama's racist governor:
One thousand three hundred and twenty-four innocent citizens were recently cornered by employees of Louis Harris seeking their opinions on the third-party candidate for President, and, according to the results, which were published on September 30th, eighty-six per cent, or one thousand one hundred and thirty-eight and sixty-four hundredths, of those consulted claimed to admire George Wallace for his"courage to say what he really thinks.”
And here from a recent Los Angeles Times story:
Donald Trump’s supporters often say they admire him because he always speaks his mind. (3)
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“Zero-morpheme growth” is the term used to describe the metamorphosing of one part of speech into another without a change in form. Because English does not have the complicated case endings that many other languages have, it is easy for English speakers to turn nouns into verbs or adjectives into nouns, for example. Of course, this can lead to some people pulling out their hair. Anyway, here are some recent examples:
“Let’s find your rich”;
“Our goal is to give every kid incredible”;
“A new way to cloud”;
“No one Carolinas like we do”;
“How to business differently.”
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Need a lawyer? How about the firm that calls itself “The Unicorn of Injury Law”?
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Or maybe you need today’s worst bargain:
Ashaway Squash Strings – SquashGear.com
SquashGear.com
https://squashgear.com › collections › ashaway-squash-st...
Ashaway SuperNick XL Squash String, 17g, White with Blue Spiral, REEL. Regular Price $115.25 Sale Price $115.25
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Or perhaps you’d like grandma’s noodle kugel recipe—straight from the old world, one suspects, if the old world is South East Asia:
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Headline in The Atlantic:
TRUMP: ‘I NEED THE KIND OF GENERALS THAT HITLER HAD’(4)
MEMO: To Donald J. Trump
Hitler’s generals tried to kill him. (5)
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(2) https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/15/politics/vance-immigrants-pets-springfield-ohio-cnntv/index.html
(4) https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/10/trump-military-generals-hitler/680327/