Language Follies 8

 “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds . . .”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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It would have been more correct for Emerson to have stated,  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of some little minds . . .” As evidence I call to the witness stand Marjorie Taylor Greene. 

In a recently published book, filled with “[v]enom, score-settling, fiction, self-absolution, self-aggrandizement,” according to the Guardian UK, (1) Representative Greene demonstrates that her little mind is consistency-free. On the one hand, she claims that “Democrats abandoned the House chamber to the rioters and exited without resistance, in contrast to brave, gun-toting Republicans”; on the other hand, she asserts that “innocent conservatives and MAGA  grandmas  . . . peacefully walked through the Capitol on January 6 instead of real threats.”

Rioters or peaceful grannies? Which were the brave, gun-toting GOPers guarding against?

It’s foolish to expect an answer from someone who dwells on Planet Wacko.

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I would suggest that Rep. Greene read the writing on the wall—at least the writing on the walls of some UK soccer fields and purchase the shoes that are “Designed for Connection.” Perhaps she could walk herself into a connection with reality, if not consistency.

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The intrusion of reality into a false world is one purpose of parody. 

Here’s a cigarette advertisement that ran for a good while in the latter part of the 1940s:

And here’s the parody (aka, reality):

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To finish the month with a flourish, I offer three of my favorite pieces of mail:

1. What Middlesex County, New Jersey has to say about Yosemite National Park in California I don’t know. But I am to be the spokesman. What an honor!

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2. 
   
   I am of course determined not to miss out on “$0 benefits.” Who wouldn’t be?

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     3.  Speaking of determined, I can’t wait to discover “THE BEST WAY TO PROCESS HINDQUARTERS.” 

Where’s my knife?

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Going to the supermarket? How can you resist buying a pizza sauce that’s “Pizzeria Style”?

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Back in the 1940s, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was really customer-friendly; for the price of admission they gave you a seat.

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And while we’re in the 40s (1949, to be precise) let’s note that Marjorie Taylor Greene (she of the space lasers setting fire to California forests) had a congressional predecessor, Senator Owen Brewster, who claimed that forest fires in Maine were set by foreign saboteurs.

Plus ça change and all that. 

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(1) https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/mtg-review-far-rabble-rouser-070011370.html

 

Only Make Believe

The present day New Yorker magazine has many fine features (and at $8.99 newsstand price it better have). Although the present magazine continues to have an editorial section called “THE TALK OF THE TOWN,” it omits the short anecdotes of overheard conversations, of letters and notes from juvenile campers and semi-literate maids, of missed meetings and mixed-up reservations that were standard fillers a half-century ago—and sources of pleasurable humor.

Here is an item from 1947—and I cannot imagine that any other little tale can match it. 

“I want to ride the Make Believe Train, mama . . .”

The “Make Believe” train—how the mishearing (and metanalysis in this case) caused a quickening of desire in a young girl. What delights, what adventures would be open to her. 

And wouldn’t you too like to ride the Make Believe Train? Wouldn’t you want a trip away from the everyday, from the prosaic?  

Alas, the mother’s voice—the adult world—“Shut up!” intruded and shattered the little girl’s hope for a magical, technicolor journey.

The beige reality was revealed—it was the Maple Leaf train.

The truth—as the poor girl sadly learned, as we all eventually learn—is that the end of the journey is always Toronto.