Now anyone who knows me knows that I have a great disdain for conspiracy theories.* I admit, however, there is one conspiracy I do believe exists: Jewish cooking is a conspiracy to make us eat carrots. Now, recent events may have forced me to believe in another.
*
Between the years 1954 and 2000 I spent my life (for better or worse) on college campuses. At no time, as student or teacher, did I ever have a tent as part of my impedimenta. And, I think I may safely say, that I never noticed any of my colleagues or students with one. Books, pencils, computers yes. Tents no. So, upon seeing a picture like this
I had to ask myself, Where did all these tents suddenly come from?
Tents were not de rigueur at previous protests; there were none, for example at my college during the protest over the shootings at Kent State in 1970, and I don’t recall seeing tents in pictures of the famous 1968 anti-Viet Nam war protest at Columbia University. So, I ask again, where did they come from this time? Are tents now, unlike in the past, brought from home when leaving for college and stowed away somehow in one’s small dorm room?
Or did the students, feeling the need to protest, decide to go foraging for tents through Manhattan (an unlikely outdoorsy equipment venue, I would think) in advance of the signal to congregate on the campus lawn. In pursuit of the latter thought, I decided to go foraging myself for tents in Manhattan via Google Shopping (“Tents Manhattan near 116th St.”) Here’s what I found:
Store: Target
Upper West Side 98th and Columbus
1 mile
Not sold at this store
Bronx Terminal
1 mile
Pick up here
In stock
Ready within 2 hours for pickup inside the store
Open until 11pm
Edgewater NJ
2 miles
Pick up here
In stock - only 2 left
Ready within 2 hours for pickup inside the store
Open until 11pm
Upper East Side 86th and Lex
2 miles
Not sold at this store
Manhattan Washington Heights
3 miles
Not sold at this store
Upper East Side 70th and 3rd
3 miles
Not sold at this store
Upper West Side 61st and Broadway
3 miles
Not sold at this store
North Bergen Commons NJ
4 miles
Pick up here
In stock - only 2 left
Ready within 2 hours for pickup inside the store
Open until 11pm
Manhattan Hells Kitchen
4 miles
Not sold at this store
Times Square 42nd Street
4 miles
Not sold at this store
LIC Court Square
4 miles
Not sold at this store
Manhattan Herald Square
5 miles
Pick up here
In stock - only 4 left
Ready within 2 hours for pickup inside the store
Open until 11pm
Bronx Fordham Road
5 miles
Not sold at this store
Bronx Riverdale
5 miles
Pick up here
In stock
Ready within 2 hours for pickup inside the store
Open until 11pm
Kips Bay
5 miles
Not sold at this store
Manhattan Union Square
6 miles
Not sold at this store
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Store: Walmart
North Bergen Supercenter
2100 88th St, North Bergen, NJ 07047
Open·until 11pm
3.1 miles away
Secaucus Supercenter
400 Park Pl, Secaucus, NJ 07094
Open·until 11pm
4.8 miles away
Teterboro Supercenter
1 Teterboro Landing Dr, Teterboro, NJ 07608
Open·until 11pm
6.6 miles away
Garfield Supercenter
174 Passaic St, Garfield, NJ 07026
Open·until 11pm
8.5 miles away
-----------------------
Store: Ace Hardware
Rainbow Ycs
1449 1st Ave
New York, NY 10021-3002
Open until 9:00 PM
0.2 mi
In stock. Get it today.
Sort by earliest available
Brickman's Columbus Ave
610 Columbus Ave
New York, NY 10024-1403
Open until 7:00 PM
1.5 mi
Ships to store. Get it Wed, May 8
Scheman & Grant Hardware
545 8th Ave
New York, NY 10018-4307
Closed
2.1 mi
Ships to store. Get it Fri, May 10
Brickman's 18th Street Ace
312-316 First Avenue
New York, NY 10009
Open until 8:00 PM
2.8 mi
Ships to store. Get it Wed, May 8
H Brickman & Sons
55 1st Ave
New York, NY 10003-9400
Open until 8:00 PM
3.5 mi
Ships to store. Get it Wed, May 8
H Brickman & Sons
125 W 3rd St
New York, NY 10012-1289
Open until 8:00 PM
3.5 mi
Ships to store. Get it Wed, May 8
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Store: The Home Depot
--------------------------------
Store: Dick’s
DICK'S - Middle Village
8.53 MI
73-25 Woodhaven Boulevard
*
So what did I make of my search? That a handful of tents are available in Manhattan—though none on the West Side near Columbia. You could travel all across town to First Ave. or down to Herald Sq. Or up to the Bronx and Riverdale or to the wasteland of Middle Village, Queens. Or in real desperation, cross the Hudson to the neverland of New Jersey. Not something one would spontaneously do in anticipation of an afternoon of parading and chanting, I imagine. And we can rule out those that need to be shipped.
So, I ask again: Where did the tents come from?
*
Here’s someone who smells something rotten.
Should I go along with Uri’s suspicion about a possible conspiracy?
I have another idea in mind that explains the presence of the tents at the University: What if the tents were matriculated at Columbia?
***
