Language Follies 29 (Food and Thought)

Music, Maestro, Please

Lyrics of an AI-generated music video:

Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump (Trump!)

Everywhere I go, they love Donald Donald Trump

Down in Mexico, they love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Flew to Italy, they love Donald Donald Trump (Donald, Donald Trump!)

In the Middle East, they love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Met some Africans, they love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Even in China, they love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Man, these Indians, they love Donald, Donald Trump (Donald, Donald Trump!)

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump (Trump!)

Everywhere I go, they love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump (Trump!)

Everywhere I go, they love Donald Donald Trump (Donald, Donald Trump!)

Man, I gotta say, I love Donald Donald Trump (Trump!)

Might be president one day, just like Donald, Donald Trump (Just like Donald Trump!)

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“The White House”—Lyrics generated by drnormalvision (to the tune of “Home on the Range”:

Home of deranged

Where fear and conspiracy play

Where seldom is heard

An encouraging word

For what do conspiracists say?

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Food for Thought(less)

Donald Trump: “I love inflation.”

Jared Kushner: “Gianni’s [Infantino] become a friend, and if I can contribute with thoughts, ideas, connections, problem solving, then I’m happy to do it.” 

Thought for Food

Wouldn’t have it any other way: “Italian Tiramisu”

Animal Farm?: WarPig BBQ FUBAR Elite BBQ Sauce

                           Teapigs

                   

What kind of genius do you have to be to buy this at Amazon,

Instead of that?

Anatomical Reports

Surrealism: “One official would later describe it as a ‘surreal’ experience to be discussing nipples in the White House Situation Room.”(1)

Non Sequitur of the Day: “JD Vance says Charlie Kirk’s assassination convinced wife Usha to have another baby.”(2)

Gender, Anyone?: “The attorneys further claimed the story was illegitimate because Patel’s 27-year-old beau ‘does not drink.’”(3)

Patel and “Beau”

The Sporting Life

Stupidity of the Day: “Seattle’s Pride celebration will feature a World Cup match on June 26 between Iran, where homosexuality is punishable by death, and Egypt, where homosexual activity is punishable by up to three years in prison.”(4)

Revelation of the Day?: “[Kim] Kardashian is not an athlete.”(5)

Looking on the Bright Side: On September 16th 1939, the British magazine Country Life offered: “Golf—The Game in War-Time.”(6)

Couture Report

New York magazine rejoices: “Finally, a Bookstore That Sells Mesh Underwear.”

Total Confusion: “Trespass unisex Sport”

Kindness: “The hat a Michigan third grader wore for her school's ‘Great Kindness Challenge’ in 2022 featured an image of an AR-style rifle and the phrase ‘come and take it.’”(7)

Question of the Day (and Easy Answer)

Washington Post: “My dog is staggering around and falling over. What gives?”

Answer: He’s been at the cooking sherry again.

And Finally

Caption Contest of the Day: 

Drawing: A man speaking into his cell phone.

Caption: “Siri, punch out Alexa.”

***

(1) https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/10/magazine/trump-epstein-files-white-house-vance-doj.html

(2) https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/jd-vance-usha-baby-charlie-kirk-b2991069.html

(3) https://newrepublic.com/post/211185/kash-patel-girlfriend-sues-report-used-fbi-agents

(4) https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/2026/06/gianni-infantino-trump-fifa-world-cup/687465/

(5) https://www.economist.com/1843/2026/06/05/nike-cant-just-do-it-any-more

(6) https://www.economist.com/britain/2026/05/31/a-posh-and-peculiar-british-magazine-is-thriving

(7) https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/articles/free-speech-case-3rd-graders-133739109.html

 

Language Follies 28 (Confusion)

 Confusion Reigns Supreme

Email From Madison Square Garden (after the end of the Rangers’ Season):

Thank You For a Memorable Centennial Season

(Memorable, I guess, in that the team finished last of 16 teams in the Eastern Conference.)

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From TSN.ca:

The Canadian Forces Snowbirds are set to fly over Montreal for the second day in a row on Monday, just before Game 3 of the NHL playoff series between the Canadiens and the Carolina Hurricanes.The aerobatic team is expected to fly over the Bell Centre at 6:15 p.m., just under two hours before the puck drops.

(It’s not just the Canadians; here in the US you also have military planes flying over indoor arenas as some kind of weird salute that no-one inside can witness.)

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Add Australians to the weird list:

From The Guardian 

Matcha Mylkbar … do a beetroot latte for just $5.

They also have a mushroom latte for $7, if your wallet will stretch to it.

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Can consumer products get any weirder than this?

Wi-Fi–connected meat smoker

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Well, maybe this:

From New York magazine

Status burgers 

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Helpful Wirecutter

The J.Crew Classic Piqué Polo Shirt is a well-made, no-frills polo.

$80

(If that's "no frills," I wonder what frills would cost you.)

*

Headlines of the Day

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You’ve heard of Chicken Little, but what about Chicken Linda? At her Upstate New York home, feminist performance artist Linda Mary Montano opened the door for writer Taliesin Thomas wearing a “devotional chicken costume”

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Dog shoots woman with shotgun at Nebraska convenience store

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Advice of the Day

• From The New York Times

• 
  

• Think Urinating on a Jellyfish Sting Is Helpful? Think Again.

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Finally, Cartoon Caption Contest of the Day

Drawing: A restaurant table. Woman addressing a robot wearing a yarmulke and a Star of David medallion:

Caption: “Funny, you don’t look Jewish.”