Silly Seasoning

Some years ago in this blog I posted what I imagined was “The Silliest Question Ever Asked.”(1) Well, the world moves on and silliness doesn’t cease. I was asked the other day to fill out a form for FedEx about a watch that (incomprehensibly) is held up in customs. Here is my candidate for “Silliest Question of 2026”: “What is the primary function of watch [?]” My answer of course was: “To tell time.”

If not a candidate for top spot, this question from New York magazine is high on the list: “What Is It Like to Be a Cucumber?”

Not a question, but a candidate for “Brain Power Fade of 1954” is this advertisement:

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Culinary Silliness:

(A) If you finish a 72-ounce steak at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo within an hour and without vomiting, your meal is free.(The Guardian)

(B) Dominican Sushi (Eden's Legacy Restaurant, Perth Amboy, NJ)

(C) “A CONNECTICUT company is putting out wine in cans. The trade name of the product is Mother Goldstein's Wine and it is mis en bouteille--mis en boîte, that is—in a dear old château in Hartford.” (The New Yorker, 1954)

(D) Misbegotten Bagelry:

(E) Humane Dinner 1954:

(F) Real Humane Dinner:

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Geographical Silliness:

On the alphabetical scroll down of countries on FedEx’s website you’ll find Switzerland between Congo and Ivory Coast.

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Amazon Silliness:

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The USSR had an interesting numbers game:

Yurii Nosenko, the son of Ivan Nosenko, the Soviet People's Commissar for Shipbuilding, began his career with the KGB in 1953 in the prestigious First Section of the First Department within the Second Main Directorate (counterintelligence), which monitored U.S. embassy personnel. In 1955, he was transferred to the First Section of the Seventh “Tourist” Department of the Second Main Directorate, which was responsible for operations against U.S., British, and Canadian tourists. In 1960, he returned to the First Section of the First Department within the Second Main Directorate. In 1962 he moved to his final KGB position as deputy chief of the Seventh “Tourist” Department of the Second Main Directorate.(2) 

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It would be silly not to take advantage:

Caity Weaver in The Atlantic: 

"You never know when God will bring a wonderful new Christmas decoration into your life. My family got our light-up snowman when our neighbor shot himself.”

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Speaking of God:

Conservative speaker Eric Metaxas claimed that God himself put Donald Trump in power to ensure the White House gets a new ballroom.

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Too apt and thus not a non sequitur:

“I saw Liza Minnelli’s performance on the Muppet Show – and was inspired to become a drag star.” (The Guardian)

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And finally, the ultimate silliness of all!

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(1) It was Catherine Deneuve surprisingly appearing and asking, “You’re not disappointed?”

https://drnormalvision.blogspot.com/2010/01/sink-or-swim.html

(2) https://direct.mit.edu/jcws/article/27/4/106/135551/The-Cold-War-and-the-Soviet-KGB-s-Same-Sex?utm_campaign=r.europe-newsletter&utm_medium=email.internal-newsletter.np&utm_source=salesforce-marketing-cloud&utm_term=7/20/2026&utm_id=2208724

Language Follies 30 (If Only)

The World Cup is over. Here is a last observation (or maybe not).

On the advertising hoardings around the fields there would pop up:

“The Final Half Time Show” — to which I reacted, “If only.”

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Perhaps the way to get started is with an eye-opener:

But it doesn’t help if the suds get into your eyes.

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Some other questionable products and/or their names:

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(OK, I give up. What the hell is that?)

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On the tortilla front:

The Dutch have more to answer for:

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Let’s stop being negative. Here’s the latest look in men’s pants:(1)

The Next Big Thing in Men’s Pants? It’s Stolen From the Ladies

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Or maybe let’s take a gander at women’s fashion:

Just perfect for a run down to Costco.

Why are we at this point in fashion that the most bizarro designs turn up every season at couture houses' shows? Perhaps this helps to explain it:

Decades ago, the world of fashion was smaller and feistier, dominated by eccentric, visionary designers trying to express themselves. . . .

In those pre-social-media days, designers’ fiery personalities would spill into their collections, for better or for worse. In 2000, John Galliano showed his infamous “homeless chic” couture collection. Alexander McQueen’s “Highland Rape” show of torn dresses shocked the industry in 1995. Rei Kawakubo’s spring 1997 line, known as “lumps and bumps,” remains one of the most significant collections of the century because it rejected traditional sex appeal, distorting and reimagining a woman’s form.(2)

There it is: “designers trying to express themselves.”

(I wrote about the foolish notion of having people “express themselves.”)(3)

Somehow the idea that the purpose of designing clothes was to make the wearer look good and feel comfortable has been usurped by the notion that the designer's wet dreams should be displayed for the world to see. (By the way, I'd be interested in philosophical designers' attempts to define “the self.”)  

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Odds and Ends

“Uh Huh” Headline of the Month:

Indicted Tycoon Says $10 Billion Offer Did Not Spur U.S. to Drop Charges

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Spaced-out discussion of the Month:

Two hours in [to their podcast], [JD] Vance and [Joe] Rogan began to talk about whether there’s “a meaningful difference between an angel or a demon and a space alien with super technology.”(4)  

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From Gulliver's Travels, Book Two (Brobdingnag, the land of the giants):

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and, since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer, that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.

Of no relevance to the present day, of course.

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A couple of questions:

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What would you do with $37.5 billion? Spend it on healthcare? schools? infrastructure? scientific/medical research? 

Nah! Bombs to drop on Iran. 

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A native New Yorker reacts:

The New York Times published an article this week entitled, “How to Wait in Line (and Keep Your Cool).” I immediately scrolled down to the comments link and fired off the following: 

Hey! The NY Times is a New York paper. It's “wait on line.”

The Times did not print my response. 

They stink!

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But let's end on an upnote or two.

They now make chocolate fortune cookies.

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Here's a picture of a model t-shirt wearer at Amazon:

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(1)  https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/21/style/pants-paper-bag-menswear.html

(2)  https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/21/opinion/fashion-slop-boring.html?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20260721&instance_id=179078&nl=the-morning®i_id=92908560&segment_id=223438&user_id=4610757384ecaf1ad328813857abb8ad 

(3)  https://drnormalvision.blogspot.com/2012/04/whisper-of-muse.html

(4)  https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/07/jd-vance-rogan-epstein/687944/

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OK, one more thing from the World Cup:

When Norway beat Brazil on July 5, the team celebrated its famous victory with a delivery order: 20 pizzas from Bagels by Jarrett in West Orange. 

(And they probably forgot the cream cheese.)