In today’s Guardian (UK)* philosopher Julian Baggini discusses that “symbol of Britain’s civilised, fair, quiet way of doing things”—queueing. Queueing is so ingrained in British culture that “[t]o undermine the queueing system is to undermine the national way of life.”
But, Baggini says, that is what is happening, as cash has made it possible to crash the lines.
In the article Baggini examines the rationale for queueing, noting that queueing “has always been much more a pragmatic means of keeping order than an ethical practice to promote fairness.” At one point in the discussion he claims,”The most egalitarian way to manage demand is by ballot.”
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The Scene: A bus stop during the morning rush hour.
“OK, everybody, the bus will be along soon, so we had better start organizing the vote.”
“Oi, who put you in charge, mate?”
“Well, I thought since I was the first here . . . But if anyone else wants to . . . No? OK, let’s get on with it. To begin with, we’ll have to know everyone’s name. Let’s start with you.”
“My name’s Les.”
“And you, young lady?”
“Sylvia.”
“The fellow in the mac?”
“Major Heath-Cowley.”
“Right.”
“And I’m Mrs. Hislop. And this is my friend Miss Pym.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Harris . . .”
“Mrs. Hislop. H-i-s-l-o-p!”
“Er . . sorry. ‘Hislop.’ Got that.”
“John Biscombe.” “Amy.” “Penny.” “Bobo and him’s me mate Mick.”
“And way in the back . . . the big fella?”
“Mohammad, Mo, for short.”
“I think that’s everybody . . .”
“What about you? What’s your name?
“Oh, yeah. I’m Nelson. So, does everybody have a pencil and a piece of paper.”
“Nah. No paper.”
“Grab that schoolboy, somebody. . . Son, would you tear a few pages from your composition book for us? Thanks. Here’s for your trouble . . . OK, now everybody write down the name of the person you think should go first and hand the ballot over here to be counted.”
“Ey. What’s that bird’s name again? Blondie, over there.”
“Sylvia, you lug.”
“Ha, ha. Here I am running the show and I don’t have . . somebody lend me a pencil?”
“The Bus!!!!”
“Hey, wait, I don’t have all the votes. Don’t push and shove. Wait! Wait!”
“See you later, alligator.”
“Damn! I better get over there.”
“Sorry, mate, but we’re full to the gills. Catch the next one.”
“But, conductor, I was here first!”
***
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