What the hell am I doing here?
Standing stiff as a board staring at a pile of old stones. Taj Mahal. MY Taj was better. Neon. With my name on it. Would make a nice golf clubhouse, though. Do they even have golf courses in this country?
Standing stiff as a board with my back to the cameras. Whose idea was that? Is that a custom here?
Strange place. They invite the leader of the greatest country in the whole world. Throw him a dinner and I look at my plate and it’s all covered in green. Grass. They served me grass. What am I a cow?
Cows. They say they’re sacred here. That means no criticism. It wouldn’t be bad to be a sacred cow. No CNN or New York Times saying those mean things.
Strange place. That Modi also has a problem with the Moslems. Told him to build a wall. He kept saying cashmere. I’m saying wall; he’s saying cashmere. What does fashion have to do with it? As if he knows about fashion. Dresses like a teenage girl. Miniskirt and leggings.
Someone said something about a new germ going around. Coronado virus or something. Germophobic. I’ll get some else to deal with it. Pence. What the hell does he do all day? I’ll make him an emperor or czar of the virus. He’ll feel big. We’ll deduct his credit card for the mask.
Enough already! Standing with my back to the cameras.
My underwear is feeling tight.
I need to find a hamburger.
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