The Greek myth of Pygmalion goes like this:
Pygmalion, king of Cyprus and a sculptor, fashioned a statue of a woman out of ivory, with which he fell in love. He prayed to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, who made the statue come to life, and Pygmalion married his creation. The story was George Bernard Shaw’s inspiration for his play Pygmalion, which, in turn, was the source for the musical My Fair Lady.
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Republicans love statues too. They love statues so much--especially statues of slaveowners and Confederate generals--that they can’t bear to see anyone touch a hair on their chinny-chin-chins. The Republicans’ embrace of nonliving granite and marble has led them in Florida to legislate into law an act imposing harsh punishment on anyone who disturbs the eternal rest of statues.
Under the act, any person who “willfully and maliciously” damages a memorial or other piece of historic property can be charged with a third-degree felony, which is punishable by up to five years in prison. Meanwhile, the felony charge will be upped to the second degree for those who destroy or topple such objects, which carries a sentence of up to 15 years.*
Rocks have never before been so beloved.
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While the GOPers of the Sunshine State were exhibiting their brand of rolling and rocking, their brethren in Oklahoma were engaged in a different project. They were trotting out legislation that would absolve drivers from blame if they plowed their vehicles, weighing 2 or 3 tons or more, into the bodies of human beings.
When massive demonstrations against racial injustice erupted across the nation last summer, protesters used an increasingly common tactic to draw attention to their cause: swarming out onto major roads to temporarily paralyze traffic.
This method sometimes resulted in searing images of drivers plowing through crowds, causing serious injuries and in some cases, deaths.**
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In December 2015 John Edward Parsley made a big mistake. Angry at having to pay cash instead of having his credit card accepted, he smashed his pick-up truck through the front doors of the Alva Comfort Inn and Suites and into the lobby of that Oklahoma hostelry. He spent the following night as a guest in the Woods County Jail, held on a $1 million bond and charged with
two felony counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and one count of malicious injury to property valued at more than $1,000.***
Of course, he would really have been in trouble if he chipped a statue of Jefferson Davis.
Now, Mr. Parsley’s real mistake was not his blowing his top, but in destroying property. Had he waited 6 years and plowed into human beings he would be getting an all-clear signal from the Oklahoma State Legislature.
To paraphrase Rodgers and Hammerstein:
Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain,
And the cars come smashing into humans.
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* https://news.artnet.com/art-world/florida-felony-topple-confederate-monuments-1961315
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