The Writing on the Wall

“The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.”

Simon and Garfunkel

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Since I have not ridden the New York City subway system since the start of the coronavirus epidemic, I can’t comment on what wisdom is on offer there these days. I have had to resort to long-distance televisual viewing to satisfy my wallreading desires.

I previously reported on some rather zen-like scrawls on the walls of the stadia during the recent Qatar-based World Cup.* Today I offer some more reporting on sporting arena walls.

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When I see an advertisement for a company I never encountered before, I always Google them. Who are they? What product or service do they offer? Here are several that I found on the side boards of hockey rinks that I have had to search out:

Loffler

Brandt

Govcio

Jabil

Leidos

TCL

The on-line statements of these companies fall into clichéd categories. 

(1) There is the Loffler/Brandt/Govcio “solutions” claim:

“Loffler listens, learns, creates and implements a solution to help your business.”

“For more than 70 years BRANDT has provided trusted advice, innovative solutions and unparalleled service for growers, producers and farmers around the world.”

Govcio: “We look at your products and services holistically to shape a clear path forward and deliver feasible solutions that generate sustained value.”

(2) Jabil and Leidos claim their technical “breadth and depth” (Jabil) and “technical core capabilities” (Leidos) will help other companies achieve “success” (Jabil) for their “important missions” (Leidos).

(3) Then there’s TCL, who “delivers meaningful experiences through thoughtful design and the latest technology, helping you enjoy more of the things you love.”

Now I admit that I spent my entire working life in an ivory tower and have never met a payroll, but somehow I can’t imagine big business suit types sitting around saying, “Let’s hire a company that will deliver us meaningful experiences or one that will holistically shape a clear path for us.”

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The advertising on the walls of English football fields offers multiple delightfully upbeat slogans that float free of anything specific about a particular product:

“Designed to Evolve. Built to Empower”

“Designed for Connection”

“Creating a World that Works Better”

Not all of the wall writings are available to a native English speaker, being in Chinese, Japanese, and other (not readily-identifiable by me) Asian languages. In English, though, we learn that a certain doctor is the best hair transplanter in Turkey. 

My favorite advertisement, seen at Wembley Stadium during the Carabao Cup final, proclaimed that the sponsoring energy drink was now “Available in Yemen.” 

That information stopped me in my tracks. There’s a nasty civil war going on in that Middle Eastern country. Were the participants defying the bullets and bombs in order to watch a foreign football match on TV? And would they be so persuaded by the message of the company that they would seek out bottles of the drink in order to gain more energy to pursue their military goals?   

One can only wonder. 

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* https://drnormalvision.blogspot.com/2023/01/language-follies-2.html