Language Follies 10 (Past, Present, Future)

The Past

Not long ago, I submitted the following anecdote to the New York Times for inclusion in its Metropolitan Diary feature. The Times has not chosen to use it; in fact, it did not even acknowledge receipt. The Times’ loss is the blog’s gain.

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In 1991 I was flying home from Argentina with a question that I needed an answer to. I had read in the Buenos Aires Herald, the Argentine English language newspaper, a one-sentence item in the sports section stating that Frank Cashen was no longer the general manager of the New York Mets. 

When I hopped into a cab at JFK airport, after giving the driver my destination, I asked, “Frank Cashen: did he jump or was he pushed?” 

The cabbie turned to me and went “Huh?”

I knew then that if a cabbie could not discuss baseball, it was a new New York.

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The Present

I feel as if I am caught in a whirlwind of importunity. Consider the recent contents of my mailbox:        

I want to sit here, but I am pressed to act, to do something—if merely to take notice of tax information. Could it be that the saving of the world is dependent upon what the USPS places in my mailbox?

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The Future

The last time I looked it was the middle of February 2024. 

But probably not everywhere in the sports world.

Sportsnet up in Canada is on speed dial; they have been projecting team rosters for an international hockey tournament that is scheduled for 2025. 

Meanwhile, The Athletic at the New York Times, only two days after the conclusion of the 2023-24 season with the Super Bowl, was “Ranking Every N.F.L. Team From First to Worst as the Offseason Begins.” The Chiefs and the ‘Niners have barely toweled off, but the pundits have their rankings primed for September. 

Haven’t these sports prognosticators ever heard about water flowing under the bridge? Lots will happen between now and then. 

But, really, it’s all Hollywood. I used to regularly read the columns of the hockey gossipers (including the one who I have dubbed “the Hedda Hopper of Hockey”). Incredibly, despite their jockeying to be first to break news of signings and trades and such, they were mostly just wild speculators. I realized that they were the sports equivalent of heyday Hollywood. So now I mostly ignore them.

However, I guess they have to fill up space. 

Who do you fancy will be on the Finnish team at the Four Nations Faceoff next February?