Language Follies 14

Today is Wednesday, June 26. Two days ago, on Monday evening, June 24, at 10:53 EDT, the National Hockey League concluded its season on ice in Sunrise, Florida, where the temperature reached 89 degrees during the day. Makes perfect sense, right? 

I am a great hockey fan, but I had had enough before the last puck was dropped. We are in an era of sport bloat, wherein leagues, conferences, international associations expand tournaments, add new teams and new exhibitions, and generally do their best to make their sport a yearlong, practically non-stop business. 

And we, the poor public, are asked to support the bloat by purchasing a + or two. You know what a + is: it’s a sign that a streaming network wants your money. A few months ago, New York magazine pointed out that if a diehard New York Yankee fan wanted to watch his team’s next four broadcasts, he would have to have four different subscriptions. Certainly not a + for his wallet. 

*

On the Fruit Front 

(A) Peach

How would you like a Peach Orchard Punch (hey, it’s on sale, too)? 

Except it’s not so peachy—check the ingredients!

B) Pineapple

What does this pineapple stand for?

The answer: nothing.

OK. What does this pineapple stand for?

The answer:

Obvious, wasn’t it?

*

Today’s Wisdom of the Wall

“Payments Unlock Futures”

*

Perhaps you’d care for another fruit punch

I don’t know what you get with this $29.99 bunch of beets, but it ain’t borscht. 

*

Here is perhaps the final word about casting actors outside of their ethnicity

From The New Yorker review of the movie version of The Dark at the Top of the Stairs (1960):

*

And over to Broadway in 1960 . . .

Here’s an example of what The New Yorker would call “The Clouded Crystal Ball”:

From the review of Gore Vidal’s The Best Man (April 9, 1960)