Language Follies 23 (With what language do you address trees?)

We are happy to report that the busses in Montreal are now permitted in hockey season to urge on the Canadiens with “Go! Habs! Go!” signs. (1) 

 

Quebec’s mercurial and controversial language police have decided that using the word “go” is a legitimate way to cheer on sports teams in the province, paving the way for excited fans – and Montreal’s transit agency - to celebrate without fear of recrimination. (2)

If that was one step forward in the cause of multilingualism, there was one step back across the Atlantic. 

A complaint against a Belgian ticket inspector who gave passengers a bilingual greeting in Dutch-speaking Flanders has been upheld, shedding light on the country’s strict language laws.

The conductor, Ilyass Alba, said Belgium’s Permanent Commission for Linguistic Control had upheld a complaint made by a commuter in 2024. The passenger had objected to Alba’s use of the French word “bonjour” while the train was in Dutch-speaking Flanders.

Alba said he had greeted the carriage with “Goeiedag, bonjour” (good day in Dutch and French), as the train approached Vilvoorde (Vilvorde), near the outskirts of Brussels, which is officially bilingual. 

The commission upheld the passenger’s complaint that Alba should not have used French in the Dutch-speaking part of the country, unless approached by a passenger speaking French. (3)

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Marriage Misery—Then and Now

The New Yorker 1942:

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Circuitously, we have learned of a wistful note received by one of the local draft boards. "I just heard that you have classified John K— in 3-A, because he is living with his wife," the note said. "I believe he should be reclassified and put into 1-A, because he isn't living with his wife. He is living with my wife.”

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yahoo.com 2025:

My husband moved his mistress into our house. Can our marriage be saved?

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On the Commercial Front

True North frozen Patagonian sea scallops

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Do you like babka?

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Are you smart enough to play a musical instrument?

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When having too much money goes to your head:

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Summer's Lease Hath All Too Short a Date:

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Implement of Destruction

There was also the Trump, a hollow tube packed with explosives and fixed to a lance. ‘When you light the Trump, it continues a long time snorting and belching vivid, furious flames ... several yards long.’ (4)

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And if it’s sport you’re after:

World Axe Throwing League

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Arboreal Cupid

And finally, to make you all feel better, Jim at Slate reported that Trump’s pick for Surgeon General (who no longer holds a medical license), Casey Means, “has a newsletter in which she discusses topics such as how she used to go on solo hikes and ask the trees to help her find a romantic partner.”

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1. We reported on the dispute here: https://drnormalvision.blogspot.com/2025/04/no-go.html
2. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jul/04/quebec-canada-english-language
3. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jul/16/complaint-upheld-against-belgian-ticket-inspector-who-said-bonjour-in-flanders
4. https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v47/n06/ferdinand-mount/this-is-the-day

 

Cause Or Effect

Quick Quiz

Who said?

A—“It’s like one of those raging rivers that sometimes rise and flood the plain, tearing down trees and buildings, dragging soil from one place and dumping it down in another. Everybody runs for safety, no one can resist the rush, there’s no way you can stop it. Still, the fact that a river is like this doesn’t prevent us from preparing for trouble when levels are low, building banks and dykes, so that when the water rises the next time it can be contained in a single channel and the rush of the river in flood is not uncontrolled and destructive.”

B—“Argentina’s lessons for the current moment are multiple: When tyrants threaten, more people and institutions may cower than resist; the loss of checks on state violence can be catastrophic; and no one knows who the next victim will be. This much is clear: Recovering from the damage will be even messier and more difficult than preventing it in the first place.” 

C—“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

D—“You pay for the causes or you pay for the effects.”

(Answers: A—Niccolò Machiavelli, translated by Tim Parks; B—Julia M. Klein, in The Atlantic (1); C—Benjamin Franklin; D—Me)

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Somehow the lesson doesn’t stick. And the world has to learn over and over again the dire consequences of not “preparing for trouble when [river] levels are low.” In a word, “Texas.”

But even if the world has risen to the task and installed the necessary defenses against impending harm, internal destroyers will arise to undermine the figurative “banks and dykes.” Think Robert Kennedy, Jr. and the anti-vaxxers. Polio was defeated; measles destroyed. They are welcomed back. The harm unleashed is not as picturesque as the heaped rubble of a flooding’s onslaught, but it is real nonetheless. Children died in Texas; children are dying in adjacent states. 

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But not only is the present administration not willing to pay for the causes, it isn’t willing to pay for the effects. 

[Trump] is pushing to eliminate FEMA, which distributes disaster-relief funding, meaning that states might have to spend more on disaster response than they do on preparedness. (2)

 

And even if FEMA funds are available, where do they sometimes go?

Florida is turning an abandoned airport in the Everglades into the newest — and scariest-sounding — local prison to detain migrants. The remote facility, nicknamed “Alligator Alcatraz,” will cost the state around $450 million a year to run, but Florida can request some reimbursement from the Federal Emergency Management Agency. (3)

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I think, in summing up, we can say that a society is defined by the defenses it chooses to build and the defenses it chooses not to build.

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(1) https://www.theatlantic.com/books/archive/2025/07/how-recover-state-terror-argentina-dirty-war-lessons/683497/

(2) Stephanie Bai, Atlantic Daily newsletter

(3) https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/23/us/politics/florida-alligator-alcatraz-migrant-detention-center.html

Producing Jobs, Not Babies

Among the many solicitations for money that I have received recently was an appeal by a group that was concerned about population growth; it desired population control. Yesterday, the sub-head on a New Yorker article read: 

As the global population grows, we’ll have to find ways of feeding the planet without accelerating climate change.

These neo-Malthusian concerns are surprising to me because the media lately have been filled with stories about the complete opposite: the declining birth rate in this country (and elsewhere). For example:

Across most of the world, fertility rates are falling. As economies develop, fertility rates tend to decline — and when economies develop especially quickly, fertility rates often plummet to particularly low levels. In many countries they are already below 2.1 births per woman, the “replacement level” needed to keep populations steady from one generation to the next.

If current trends continue, by 2050 more than three-quarters  of countries will be below replacement-level fertility. By 2100, populations in some major economies will fall by 20 to 50 percent. (1)

Among the reactions to this trend is the pro-natalist movement—a “once-fringe movement claim[ing] having more babies is the only way to save civilization.” (2)

If there is a crisis because of too few people (rather than the historical Malthusian over-population doom story), the drive to increase births is completely wrongheaded. Let me explain.

From an economic point of view, what is a baby? A parasite. It demands food, clothing, constant monitoring, but since it does no work, earns no pay, it is a drag on the economy of the nation. Besides it often keeps its mother from pursuing her profession, causing a reduction in income for the family. (3)

In the United States, although so many right-wingers claim concern about unborn children, once the children are born, the concern falls away. Health care services and insurance coverage are under constant threat of disappearing. With anti-vaxxers in government health positions, vaccine guidance is questionable, leaving children exposed to many previously-defeated diseases. And if a child survives, it won’t be an asset to the economy for usually two decades or so (after finishing its education).

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There is a counterbalance to the problem of a declining birthrate in the US. It is so obvious (but hateful to too many people): open the doors to more immigrants. Here are adults desirous of work (it is incredible that ICE drags people away from their jobs). When they tackle jobs that American citizens are loath to take, they add to the nation’s economy. And jobs are waiting:

Why Factories Are Having Trouble Filling Nearly 400,000 Open Jobs(4)

The Administration’s policies are stupidly counter-productive.

The president’s crackdown on immigration, which includes attempts to revoke deportation protections for migrants from troubled countries, may eliminate workers who could have filled those jobs.

And pace the pro-natalists, no wearer of a diaper can run a lathe or spot-weld a joint.

 

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1. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/world/americas/birthrate-fertility-feminism.html
2. https://www.npr.org/2025/04/30/nx-s1-5382208/whats-behind-the-pronatalist-movement-to-boost-the-birth-rate
3. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/25/opinion/motherhood-penalty-career.html?searchResultPosition=1
4. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/23/business/factory-jobs-workers-trump.html?searchResultPosition=1

 

Number One

We are honored today having the first President of the United States, George Washington, visiting our office.

Us: Mr. President . . .

GW: Stop! Since I am no longer President—and haven’t been for a long time—I do not use that title. People call me “General.” 

Us: Understood. What brings you to town today, General?

GW: Dentistry. I’m hoping that modern dentistry will relieve me of the problems I have with the wooden teeth I have now.

Us: You appreciate modern dentistry?

GW: As I understand it. I also hear good things about modern surgery—use of anesthesia to combat pain—but I’m not willing to have a part of my body sawn off just to test the theory.

Us: What is the biggest change in the country from the time of your term in office that you have noticed?

GW: “Big” is the right word. We were just a measly thirteen former colonies, and now America has fifty states—including one in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Us: What do you think about the suggestion that Canada should be the fifty-first?

GW: Never! A bunch of Tories! They had their chance to be part of our cause back in ‘seventy-six, but they skedaddled north of the border.

Us: Speaking of ‘seventy-six and the Revolutionary War, did you parade the troops after the victory at Yorktown?

GW: Not at all. We told the boys, “The war’s over. Go home.” The British and the Hessians liked to parade. Americans want to go home.

Us: Our present President has been selling all sorts of merchandise while in office—sneakers, bibles, and now cell phones. Did you ever avail yourself of the opportunity to cash in on your name—with say Washington tricorn hats or Washington cherry trees?

GW: What a disgraceful idea. A lowering of the most important office in the land to the hustling of a huckster. Never!

Us: Thank you for your time, General. One last question: a lot of hotels and inns have advertised that “George Washington slept here.” Is that true?

GW: Shh. Don’t tell Martha. 

Us: Goodbye, General.

GW: Goodbye. (Whispering) Do you want to buy a bridge?