What's the Purpose of Thursday?

Today is Thursday.

Why?

What is the purpose of Thursday?

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Everybody understands the weekend. Saturday and Sunday—though not exactly the same—are welcome because of the opportunity to throw the alarm clock out the window and sleep as long as one wishes. Also, one can dress however one wants. Shaving and showering are optional. 

The days differ in these ways, however. Saturday, like Friday, offers the opportunity to get dressed up and party the night away (no alarm clock the next morning). Sunday, though, becomes antsy as the day advances (there is the alarm clock the next day). Filled with regret for the missed possibilities of the day, we recover the clock from the garden—and awake the next day to . . .

Monday! The worst day of the week. Back into our uniform and subject to routine, we resent every minute of Monday. In reaction, we do nothing at work. Maybe push some paper around, pretending it’s the Magna Carta or something. But nothing real is accomplished. Which leaves . . .

Tuesday. The one day in which work is done: Monday’s leftover work and Tuesday’s own pile of crap. We work twice as hard and at the end of the day are ready to collapse. 

The Germans understand Wednesday; they call it Mittwoch, the middle of the week. It is the pivot day, the day in which the resentment directed backwards to the two previous days shifts to anticipation of what’s to come.

What’s to come should be Friday, that lovely day which will free us of the work week and allow us to party all night (see Saturday) because we’re free from routine and order for the weekend once we walk out the door of work. 

But, alas, Friday doesn’t come after Wednesday. There’s Thursday. Quicksand to inhibit our progress to the transition to the weekend. It takes the patience of Job to make it through Thursday without screaming, “Where is Friday?” 

Unfortunately, there’s no way of speeding up the clock. We have to shoulder the burden of Thursday. And 24 hours too late, greet Friday with a sigh.

*

So I ask again, “What’s the purpose of Thursday?” 

Language Follies 24 (First, The Good News)

The Silver Lining

Russia is leader in prosthetic limbs thanks to Ukraine war, says Kremlin official

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On the Other Hand, a Shame about the P.R. Letdown

(Nazi criminal Alfred Rosenberg)

Mixing Up the Clans

The Smithsonian is ethnically challenged:

“Mafiosi, foremost among them Meyer Lansky"

How to Be Right 100% of the Time

[Hanson W. Baldwin in The Times 1944]: There are three possible outcomes to the invasion: Complete defeat, complete success, or something in between.

You Really Believed Us?

“T.W.A. is not responsible for errors or omissions in this fare table which is printed for information only.”

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The police chief, Elise Chard, has said the department was notified by federal officials that [Jon Luke] Evans was legally permitted to work in the country, and that the town submitted information via the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)’s E-Verify program before Evans’s employment. Tricia McLaughlin, assistant secretary of homeland security, then accused the town of “reckless reliance” on the department’s E-Verify program. (1)

Subversion?

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“America First, a society composed of enemies of the people.”

The New Yorker, July 28, 1945

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Up is Down

North River (Dutch: Noort Rivier) is an alternative name for the southernmost portion of the Hudson River in the vicinity of New York City

Two Items About Money

Schools in those states stayed closed far longer than those in Republican ones, causing students to fall behind and reducing their future earnings potential.

The Economist, Aug 21st 2025

(Some people can’t avoid judging everything by money.)

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In 2001 the Czech arm of Philip Morris, a cigarette manufacturer, argued that smokers save the state money by dying younger, thus relieving the public purse of the need to pay the pensions, health care, and housing of those killed off early.

(The report, titled Public Finance Balance of Smoking in the Czech Republic, was prepared by the consulting firm Arthur D. Little International.)

Yum

Classic Chicken Breast: Chicken Breast Fillets with Rib Meat, Water, Seasoning (Salt, Oat Bran, Monosodium Glutamate, Oat Fiber, Sugar, Yeast Extract, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Spices [including Celery Seed], Natural Flavors, Chicken Broth, Chicken Fat, Citric Acid, Cooked Chicken, Grill Flavor [from Sunflower Oil]), Sodium Phosphates. Battered and Breaded with: Wheat Flour, Water, Modified Food Starch, Salt, Contains 2% or Less of: Extractives of Turmeric, Garlic Powder, Lactic Acid, Leavening (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Monocalcium Phosphate), Monosodium Glutamate, Natural Flavors, Onion Powder, Spice, Wheat Gluten. Breading Set in Vegetable Oil. Cooked In Vegetable Oil (Soybean, Canola, Corn and/or Cottonseed), Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Dimethylpolysiloxane (To Reduce Foaming).

A Couple of Products for You

The “Towel Skirt”

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Most Capable Boat in the

World

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your boat from your home.

Iguana Yachts

(What good would the boat do me landing on the New Jersey Turnpike?)

Jingle Bells

I hope that the above product references are handy, though it is not even the middle of September. But Target reminds us that there are only 105 shopping days until Christmas.

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(1) https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/19/maine-police-officer-immigration-ice

 

What's In A Name?

We have just received a new report from our spy—er, “source”—in the White House. He reports that President Trump was so happy with his re-naming the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America that he was going to—in his words—“make American names America First names.”

In his first proclamation Trump will demand the re-naming of Mississippi, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and all other states with Indian names. “They’re losers, those redskins. We real Americans pushed them out of all the best territory. We can’t have our states named after losers.”

Next, Trump said, that after changing the Gulf of Mexico, it was time to rid the country of other Spanish names. Thus, Colorado, Montana, Florida, etc. would have to have their names changed to America First ones. “And who was the stupid person,” Trump asked, “who came up with New Mexico?”

Other places with names associated with foreign countries are also on Trump’s hit list: New York, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Orleans. “The worst of all, Trump declared, “was naming the whole northeast after the greatest losers of all, the losers of the Revolutionary War—New England!”

On the same topic, Trump scorned names after another country’s monarchs. “The Carolinas have to go. And Georgia. And Virginia. Only American monarchs should be celebrated.”

UPDATE

Our spy—er, “source”—just reported that the re-naming project has been indefinitely postponed. It seems that someone whispered into Trump’s ear that America itself was named after a foreigner—Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian. 

The last our spy heard was that Trump was mulling naming the whole country after a more acceptable European—Leif Erikson. 

He wouldn’t dare to try to name the country after himself—would he?