Some years ago in this blog I posted what I imagined was “The Silliest Question Ever Asked.”(1) Well, the world moves on and silliness doesn’t cease. I was asked the other day to fill out a form for FedEx about a watch that (incomprehensibly) is held up in customs. Here is my candidate for “Silliest Question of 2026”: “What is the primary function of watch [?]” My answer of course was: “To tell time.”
If not a candidate for top spot, this question from New York magazine is high on the list: “What Is It Like to Be a Cucumber?”
Not a question, but a candidate for “Brain Power Fade of 1954” is this advertisement:
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Culinary Silliness:
(A) If you finish a 72-ounce steak at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo within an hour and without vomiting, your meal is free.(The Guardian)
(B) Dominican Sushi (Eden's Legacy Restaurant, Perth Amboy, NJ)
(C) “A CONNECTICUT company is putting out wine in cans. The trade name of the product is Mother Goldstein's Wine and it is mis en bouteille--mis en boîte, that is—in a dear old château in Hartford.” (The New Yorker, 1954)
(D) Misbegotten Bagelry:
(E) Humane Dinner 1954:
(F) Real Humane Dinner:
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Geographical Silliness:
On the alphabetical scroll down of countries on FedEx’s website you’ll find Switzerland between Congo and Ivory Coast.
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Amazon Silliness:
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The USSR had an interesting numbers game:
Yurii Nosenko, the son of Ivan Nosenko, the Soviet People's Commissar for Shipbuilding, began his career with the KGB in 1953 in the prestigious First Section of the First Department within the Second Main Directorate (counterintelligence), which monitored U.S. embassy personnel. In 1955, he was transferred to the First Section of the Seventh “Tourist” Department of the Second Main Directorate, which was responsible for operations against U.S., British, and Canadian tourists. In 1960, he returned to the First Section of the First Department within the Second Main Directorate. In 1962 he moved to his final KGB position as deputy chief of the Seventh “Tourist” Department of the Second Main Directorate.(2)
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It would be silly not to take advantage:
Caity Weaver in The Atlantic:
"You never know when God will bring a wonderful new Christmas decoration into your life. My family got our light-up snowman when our neighbor shot himself.”
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Speaking of God:
Conservative speaker Eric Metaxas claimed that God himself put Donald Trump in power to ensure the White House gets a new ballroom.
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Too apt and thus not a non sequitur:
“I saw Liza Minnelli’s performance on the Muppet Show – and was inspired to become a drag star.” (The Guardian)
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And finally, the ultimate silliness of all!
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(1) It was Catherine Deneuve surprisingly appearing and asking, “You’re not disappointed?”
https://drnormalvision.blogspot.com/2010/01/sink-or-swim.html
