Baa Humbug

Exactly seven months ago, on December 28, 2020, The New Yorker printed a short essay entitled “Berkshire County Postcard: Name Game” as part of its “Talk of the Town.” The Berkshire County place of the piece was Great Barrington, Mass., which prior to the previous October was mostly famous for being the site of Susan Gotthelf’s alma mater. In October, however, a group described by the magazine as “more than three dozen epidemiologists, physicians, and statisticians, as well as a stray philosopher” published the “Great Barrington Declaration.”

The sponsor of the declaration was something called the American Institute for Economics Research, an alleged think tank based in Great Barrington. (I say “alleged” because think tanks don’t encourage thinking; they’re propaganda mills.)

The subject of the declaration (doesn’t that sound grand—as if they were separating themselves from the motherland) was the coronavirus. Arguing against lockdowns, the paper looked to herd immunity to contain the pandemic. The argument was immediately slammed by real experts across the globe, such as Chris Whitty, England’s chief medical advisor, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, World Health Organization’s director-general, and, of course, Anthony Fauci.

The declaration was also attacked by the good citizens of Great Barrington, who felt that the town’s reputation would be sullied by association with a foolish—and dangerous—document with its name in the title.

It is worth pointing out here that one of the signatories of the declaration was a professor from Oxford who had asserted five months previously that COVID was “on its way out” in the UK. Has that eminent academic—in the face of the facts from 14 months later offered below—bothered to apologize for his stupidity?

3,177: Tokyo’s number of new daily cases on Wednesday, the second-straight day the city set its record for highest daily cases.

Daily Covid cases in UK rise for first time in eight days, to 27,734.

Well, no. I don’t expect an apology, because the “epidemiologists, physicians, and statisticians, as well as a stray philosopher” were writing under the sponsorship of a libertarian institute. And libertarians are so convinced of their special status on planet Earth that they need never bow a knee to the concerns of others. “I can do what I want; I can spill toxic wastes from my factories into local streams, emit noxious gases into the atmosphere, use workers how I please. I can even write bullshit declarations about epidemics.”

*

Terms of venery are used to identify animals appearing in groups, such as a gaggle of geese, a pride of lions, or a herd of cows. It is fun sometimes to play a game where you invent such terms for groups of humans. A shitload of proctologists, perhaps, or a drill of dentists, maybe. Anyway, I think a synod of stinkers would fit libertarians perfectly.

*

Let us turn to another term of venery: a flock of sheep.

I think I have identified the ultimate libertarian nursery rhyme: Little Bo Peep.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

And doesn’t know where to find them.

Leave them alone

And they’ll come home

Waggling their tails behind them.

Let’s examine this.

The shepherdess, the guardian of the flock, has neglected her job; she has lost the sheep. What to do?

The voice of the advice giver (in lines 3,4, and 5)—obviously a libertarian—says do nothing. Don’t go looking for the sheep, don’t call upon the resources of the community to aid you in that attempt. The fact that there was need for a shepherdess in the first place—to, among other things, keep the flock safe from wolves looking for a lamb chop dinner—is sloughed off. 

Go home, have a cup of tea, put your feet up, and watch the telly. That sheep are supposedly among the dumbest animals doesn’t matter; they’ll somehow activate their internal GPS and over hills and through dales navigate to the right farm. Soon, dear Bo Peep, you’ll be able to put your head down on your pillow and fall asleep to the sweet bleating of the lambs.

I hope Bo Peep has had the COVID shots—relying on herd immunity when you’re dealing with a flock is ultimate foolishness.