Please is at a strange crossroads between its once and future meaning—but it would please me to see it go.
Walker Mimms *
*
Mr. Mimms is being particularly cutesy here, since early on in his article he claims, “I almost never use the word please”—despite his upbringing in a mannerly household.
What seems to be the burr under Mimms’ saddle is that
[t]he word can brilliantly convey anger, irony, passive aggression, condescension, formality, or desperation—all without a hint of true politeness.
He offers the example of a boss asking an underling,
“Can you have this report on my desk by Monday please?”
That’s not politeness; that’s an order, son!
Mimms says that his sole exception these days in the use of please is when he accepts “something already offered—as in ‘Yes, please.’” I, myself, find that I often respond to queries such as “Do you want a receipt?” with the single word please.
I don’t know how I have become so much more polite these days; perhaps old age has loosened my tongue, making it easier to say “Thank you very much” in all sorts of situations. I’ve become a veritable walking Emily Post etiquette book. And as such, please is very much a part of my politesse repertoire.
*
Mimms is not wrong to point out that usage of please can range from politeness to anger. But so can other ordinarily polite terms. After staring at the tablecloth for seemingly ages, one mutters a sarcastic thank you to the laggardly waitperson. Should one drop that phrase because it can be used to convey the opposite of politeness? Of course not. What one needs to do—with all words—is to consider the range of possible meanings that can be conveyed with the word via intonation, facial expression, hand gestures, and body positioning.
*
Let me end here with a bow toward Mimms’ recognition of the power of an angry please. Here is the finale of episode one of “Fawlty Towers”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_68f7fN8EuI
***
* https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/03/polite-words-is-please-rude/673397/
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