Monday, March 25, 2024

The New "Chosen People"

Have you noticed that we have a new group of “chosen people”? The Jews? They’re passé. Besides, they’re all mixed up in Gaza (wherever the hell that is). 


It’s here in the USA that God matters, and God has been slowly building up his troops. In 1953, it seems that there was only one person whom God could depend on—President Dwight Eisenhower. At least that’s what The New Yorker reported one divine claimed. 




More recently, the USA no longer has had to depend on a lone soldier like Ike; there has been an onrushing of newly-anointed saviors of this country. 


For example, Tom Parker, the Alabama chief justice, has stated that “God created government,” and claimed that he himself had been called by God to “the mountain of government.”*


Then there’s Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, who expressed shock that he was elected to that gaudy post:

But despite Johnson’s shock at being chosen to lead his people, he concluded that God knew best: “Only God saw the path through the roiling sea,” he concluded. . . .

In his first speech upon becoming speaker, Johnson said, “I believe that Scripture, the Bible, is very clear: that God is the one who raises up those in authority.”**

But to top it all off, there’s Trump. 


This is really a battle between good and evil," evangelical TV preacher Hank Kunneman says of the slew of criminal charges facing Donald Trump. "There's something on President Trump that the enemy fears: It's called the anointing."

The Nebraska pastor, who was speaking on cable news show "FlashPoint" last summer, is among several voices in Christian media pressing a message of Biblical proportions: The 2024 presidential race is a fight for America's soul, and a persecuted Trump has God's protection.***


Trump has seemingly embraced this view of his mission in life:  


The former president has started some rallies with a messianic video made by social media influencers which opens with the line: "On June 14, 1946, God looked down on his planned paradise and said: I need a caretaker, so God gave us Trump."

Well, all I can say is: God also gave us the tsetse fly. 


***


https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/alabama-ivf-ruling-is-an-assault-on-the-right-to-privacy.html


** https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/12/mike-johnson-christian-nationalist-lawmakers-moses.html


*** https://www.yahoo.com/news/god-gave-us-trump-christian-100346241.html?guccounter=1

Friday, March 15, 2024

Language Follies 11 (The Ides of March Edition)

The Ides of March


If you’re Julius Caesar, you should take the soothsayer’s advice and beware this day. If you’re anybody else, there’s nothing to fear. “Ides,” which sounds so ominous, did not mean anything like”hex” or “evil eye.” In Roman times it merely was the designation for the middle of the month; hence, for March, the 15th.


*


Today’s Orwell Award for Euphemism


“Pain compliance


“In a nutshell, pain compliance involves either manipulating a person's joints or activating certain pressure points to create sufficient pain to achieve compliance.”*


Don’t you love police talk?


*


The Wisdom of the Walls


Here’s some of the latest intelligence from the boundaries of sporting venues:


“100% Guaranteed Gasolines” 


(As distinct, one wonders, from what?)


<>


“Defending Networks. Hunting Forwards”


<>


“Tawandang German Brewery” 


(Which is located at 462/61 Rama III Rd, Chong Nonsi, Yan Nawa, Bangkok 10120, Thailand)


<>


And, finally Dr. Cinik, the good old Turkish man-of-all-work, who offers “Dental Treatments,” “Hair Transplants,” “Plastic Surgery.”



*


“Psyop”


(Or, “I am talking out of my rear end”)


“Lately,” The Washington Post, tells us,


it’s become popular in conservative media circles to brand certain things as a psychological operation, or “psyop.”

Climate change, for example. Or covid. Or the media coverage of Donald Trump. Or even the prosecution of Hunter Biden.


The Post identifies Fox News host Jesse Watters as 


perhaps the most influential superspreader of the term. In January, Watters used a just-asking-questions formula to suggest that Taylor Swift is a psyop asset of the Defense Department. 


Watters acknowledged that his show “obviously has no evidence” for the claim . . .**


*


“If I Wasn’t So Wrong, I’d Be Right”


Winthrop Sargeant was classical music reviewer of The New Yorker for many years. This item from April 30,1955 beats anything else he ever wrote:




*


And lest you think that a non-music music review would top the crazy chart in 1955, here’s a conspiracy theory that belongs to the world of Jesse Watters 


***

* https://www.officer.com/home/article/10250067/pain-compliance-vs-body-mechanics

** https://www.washingtonpost.com/style/media/2024/02/22/psyop-conspiracy-theory-conservative-media/




Friday, February 16, 2024

Language Follies 10 (Past, Present, Future)

The Past


Not long ago, I submitted the following anecdote to the New York Times for inclusion in its Metropolitan Diary feature. The Times has not chosen to use it; in fact, it did not even acknowledge receipt. The Times’ loss is the blog’s gain.


§


In 1991 I was flying home from Argentina with a question that I needed an answer to. I had read in the Buenos Aires Herald, the Argentine English language newspaper, a one-sentence item in the sports section stating that Frank Cashen was no longer the general manager of the New York Mets. 




When I hopped into a cab at JFK airport, after giving the driver my destination, I asked, “Frank Cashen: did he jump or was he pushed?” 


The cabbie turned to me and went “Huh?”


I knew then that if a cabbie could not discuss baseball, it was a new New York.



*


The Present


I feel as if I am caught in a whirlwind of importunity. Consider the recent contents of my mailbox:        




I want to sit here, but I am pressed to act, to do something—if merely to take notice of tax information. Could it be that the saving of the world is dependent upon what the USPS places in my mailbox?


*


The Future


The last time I looked it was the middle of February 2024. 


But probably not everywhere in the sports world.


Sportsnet up in Canada is on speed dial; they have been projecting team rosters for an international hockey tournament that is scheduled for 2025. 



Meanwhile, The Athletic at the New York Times, only two days after the conclusion of the 2023-24 season with the Super Bowl, was “Ranking Every N.F.L. Team From First to Worst as the Offseason Begins.” The Chiefs and the ‘Niners have barely toweled off, but the pundits have their rankings primed for September. 



Haven’t these sports prognosticators ever heard about water flowing under the bridge? Lots will happen between now and then. 


But, really, it’s all Hollywood. I used to regularly read the columns of the hockey gossipers (including the one who I have dubbed “the Hedda Hopper of Hockey”). Incredibly, despite their jockeying to be first to break news of signings and trades and such, they were mostly just wild speculators. I realized that they were the sports equivalent of heyday Hollywood. So now I mostly ignore them.


However, I guess they have to fill up space. 


Who do you fancy will be on the Finnish team at the Four Nations Faceoff next February? 

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Language Follies 9

I Never Said I was Perfect


I made a big boo-boo on a recent blog post: I entitled the piece “In Folly Rank, In Reason Rotten.” I was relying on my memory of Sir Walter Raleigh’s satirical response, “The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd,” to Christopher Marlowe’s “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love.” My memory let me down, as I suddenly realized a few days after posting that Raleigh wrote, “In folly ripe . . .” “Ripe” contrasting with “rotten”—perfect sense. I have since corrected the post.


However, I must say that in retrospect I am disappointed that none of my well-read readers were able to spot my error and correct me. 


Here are the texts of the two poems:


“The Passionate Shepherd to His Love”


Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove,

That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,

Woods, or steepy mountain yields.


And we will sit upon the Rocks,

Seeing the Shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow Rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing Madrigals.


And I will make thee beds of Roses

And a thousand fragrant posies,

A cap of flowers, and a kirtle

Embroidered all with leaves of Myrtle;


A gown made of the finest wool

Which from our pretty Lambs we pull;

Fair lined slippers for the cold,

With buckles of the purest gold;


A belt of straw and Ivy buds,

With Coral clasps and Amber studs:

And if these pleasures may thee move,

Come live with me, and be my love.


The Shepherds’ Swains shall dance and sing

For thy delight each May-morning:

If these delights thy mind may move,

Then live with me, and be my love.


                            ^


“The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd”


If all the world and love were young,

And truth in every Shepherd’s tongue,

These pretty pleasures might me move,

To live with thee, and be thy love.


Time drives the flocks from field to fold,

When Rivers rage and Rocks grow cold,

And Philomel becometh dumb,

The rest complains of cares to come.


The flowers do fade, and wanton fields,

To wayward winter reckoning yields,

A honey tongue, a heart of gall,

Is fancy’s spring, but sorrow’s fall.


Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of Roses,

Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies

Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten:

In folly ripe, in reason rotten.


Thy belt of straw and Ivy buds,

The Coral clasps and amber studs,isted

All these in me no means can move

To come to thee and be thy love.


But could youth last, and love still breed,

Had joys no date, nor age no need,

Then these delights my mind might move

To live with thee, and be thy love.


 *       


Today’s Wisdom of the Wall


“Sleep to Perform”


*


As we all know, Amazon is the master of everything—or maybe not. Here’s what I recently discovered when I visited Amazon’s INTERNATIONAL FOOD MARKET, which claims:

In a world full of flavor, there's so much to explore. Our international food store has ingredients and packaged foods including snacks, candies, and noodles from around the world that will help you add some global flavor to your next meal.


I clicked on 





and got as the first four entries:



a veritable United Nations of confections, n’est pas?


*


When I’m not in the year 2024, I am immersing myself in the past via the archives of The New Yorker. I am finishing up the year 1953, and as I noted in an earlier post, it’s like living in the present—the same nonsense that existed then we have all over again.


Consider (from the Feb. 28, 1953 issue): 



The idiotic and childish refusal of members of the Republican Party to call their opposition by its rightful name isn’t something that was spawned by Tea Partyish crackpots; it goes back seventy years (at least) and was a feature of the parole of the Secretary of State in the Eisenhower administration. 


Speaking of the Eisenhower presidency, in its Oct. 31, 1953 issue The New Yorker reported the following:



And some seventy years later, other Protestant ministers claim that Donald Trump has been ordained by God to resolve the country’s and the world’s problems. The message wire from the Deity is a bit staticky.


*


The early ‘50s were hardly paradisiacal. There were the red scares, and the threat of nuclear annihilation hung over everyone’s head. But in at least one way the earlier age was better. Here is The New Yorker’s reflection after the 1952 election:


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update:

The morning after I posted the above blog, this showed up on Huffpost:

Donald Trump on Thursday shared a post on his Truth Social platform in which Academy Award winner Jon Voight declared the former president had been “ridiculed” and “destroyed as Jesus.”

Voight, a longtime follower of the four-times-indicted Trump, claimed the Republican 2024 front-runner “has been targeted for his information that can knock down the corrupt swamp” and is “the only man that can destroy the negative propaganda that has been sworn into this office.”

“Can he be saved with the American people who believe in God’s glory? Can we save our nation from the dark cloud that has been put upon our life’s dreams? Yes,” the “Midnight Cowboy” star continued. “Because Joshua promised the land of hospitality and his sword of righteousness. Fought the battles left and right. The battles of right and wrong.”

“Believe,” Voight later urged. “That the man that can help this nation, the one man that was ridiculed, destroyed as Jesus, Trump, can come back and save the American dream for all. And make America great with the dignity, with the power of who she is.”