The big news out of Washington this weekend was that the President of the United States was able to identify an elephant. Mr. Trump himself celebrated his accomplishment by claiming that he had “aced” a test. One is glad that he has earned his merit badge in animal naming, and that he announced his feat in—what was for him—a minimal over-the-top fashion. One suspects that if Junior, who likes to kill beasts that can’t shoot back at him, had conquered an elephant, he would have dragged the carcass onto the stage in front of cameras.
In truth, though, it must be admitted that not all Capital observers were buying the Trump story, for it has been whispered that Mr. Trump may have a slight penchant for telling porkies.*
Still, one might be inclined on this occasion to believe him. After all, the elephant is the symbol of the Republican party, so how could he fail to recognize one?
And one ventures the guess that Mr. Trump also would have had no trouble identifying the symbol of the Democratic party—the donkey. Indeed, he is probably more familiar with its features than that of the elephant. For every morning, when he looks into the mirror to construct the yellow edifice on the top of his head, he sees an ass.
Incidentally, at this point in time, there has been no word on what other mammals or marsupials Mr. Trump is an ace at identifying.
* Cockney rhyming slang: “lies” = “pork pies,” or “porkies” for short.