Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Pop Goes the Weasel


I don’t know how the gods contrived it, but they got it right when they decided that it was my brother who should become the lawyer in the family. They must have searched deeply into my soul and determined that I did not have the requisite character traits to become a member of the bar.

To prove the correctness of what I am saying here, consider my reaction (see below) to a Trumpian event of the day, the news of which has just been posted on line. 
Donald Trump’s Campaign Fires Off Cease-And-Desist Letter To CNN Over Poll That Shows Joe Biden With Wide Lead(1)
That follows what Trump tweeted earlier in the week:
CNN Polls are as Fake as their Reporting(2)
The cease-and-desist letter claimed that the CNN poll was “designed to mislead American voters.” As we all know, anything reported that is negative about Trump is dismissed—without proof—as “fake news.” Thus, a poll that came up with figures showing that Joe Biden is well ahead of the incumbent (at least at this point) could hardly survive a few hours without the typical Trumpian attack. 

Now, since the MO is by now as ancient as the hills, I wouldn’t ordinarily bother wasting my time writing about this latest whine. But—at the same time, Trump has been tweeting about the 75-year-old protester in Buffalo, NY who was assaulted by one of that city’s finest, lay bleeding and ignored in the street, and still lies today in the hospital:
Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. @OANN  I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?(3)
“Fake News,” anybody? The master at it again and (this is beyond self-satire) at the same time his flacks call on CNN to take down a First-Amendment-protected report from their news site for being allegedly misleading.

But it gets even better.

Instead of defending the truth of the President’s allegations against Mr. Gugino (which they can’t because there are no facts to support them), Trump’s defenders retreat to the old weasel trick. You know, using words like “could” or “maybe” or the new standard of weaseldom, “only raising (or “asking”) questions.” Here’s what the White House Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, had to say:
The president was raising questions based on a report that he saw, there are questions that need to be asked, and every case we can't jump on one side without looking at all of the facts at play.(4)

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As I said at the beginning of this post, I don’t have the right character traits to be a lawyer. If I were one for CNN, I would respond to the crazy cease-and-desist letter: “Go soak your head” (and that’s only because I decided to be euphemistic).

But as a non-lawyer who wishes to practice his weaseling skills, I raise a question in the name of fair play:
Is Trump a special specie of fecal matter? 
Only asking.

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