Monday, October 12, 2020

A Phantasm of Alternative Facts

For most people in the United States today is Columbus Day. For others, the day has been repurposed as Indigenous Peoples Day.  

Thus, it seems right to use the day for re-evaluations. Hence this blog post: “A Phantasm of Alternative Facts.”


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George Washington took only a week to write “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”


Amelia Earhart is living in South Bend, Indiana.


Shakespeare’s plays were written by D. H. Lawrence—except for Julius Caesar, which was written by Cicero.


Michael Jackson opted for show business instead of joining his uncle Andrew’s cabinet as Secretary of the Interior.


Moulin Rouge is the color of Sarah Palin’s makeup.


Exxon is a Viking rune.


Icarus had no pilot’s license, so he couldn’t use his father’s helicopter.


Paris Hilton officially transitioned into a hotel in 2017.


Mynah birds, tired of feeling inferior, have petitioned for a name change.


A new book by a leading bureaucrat is entitled Lord of the Files.


The Titanic sank in three feet of water.


After Andrew Lloyd Webber composed “Memory,” he forgot where he put the sheet music.


Mike Pence is in for a pound.


Mike Pence’s third cousin is Miss Moneypenny.


New York Yankee players are forbidden to eat southern fried chicken.


George Bernard Shaw, Irwin Shaw, and Artie Shaw were all the same person.


Columbo and Quincy hired Hercule Poirot to discover their first names.


Tired of writing poetry, William Wordsworth opened a five-and-ten-cent store under a pseudonym.


Originally called “pollo,” polo was played in Spain with live chickens.


A failure as a couturier, Charles II of England decided to become a king.



Oh, finally—Columbus did not discover America. A stiff wind blew his fleet off course, and so he discovered Greenland.





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