Language Follies 24 (First, The Good News)

The Silver Lining

Russia is leader in prosthetic limbs thanks to Ukraine war, says Kremlin official

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On the Other Hand, a Shame about the P.R. Letdown

(Nazi criminal Alfred Rosenberg)

Mixing Up the Clans

The Smithsonian is ethnically challenged:

“Mafiosi, foremost among them Meyer Lansky"

How to Be Right 100% of the Time

[Hanson W. Baldwin in The Times 1944]: There are three possible outcomes to the invasion: Complete defeat, complete success, or something in between.

You Really Believed Us?

“T.W.A. is not responsible for errors or omissions in this fare table which is printed for information only.”

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The police chief, Elise Chard, has said the department was notified by federal officials that [Jon Luke] Evans was legally permitted to work in the country, and that the town submitted information via the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)’s E-Verify program before Evans’s employment. Tricia McLaughlin, assistant secretary of homeland security, then accused the town of “reckless reliance” on the department’s E-Verify program. (1)

Subversion?

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“America First, a society composed of enemies of the people.”

The New Yorker, July 28, 1945

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Up is Down

North River (Dutch: Noort Rivier) is an alternative name for the southernmost portion of the Hudson River in the vicinity of New York City

Two Items About Money

Schools in those states stayed closed far longer than those in Republican ones, causing students to fall behind and reducing their future earnings potential.

The Economist, Aug 21st 2025

(Some people can’t avoid judging everything by money.)

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In 2001 the Czech arm of Philip Morris, a cigarette manufacturer, argued that smokers save the state money by dying younger, thus relieving the public purse of the need to pay the pensions, health care, and housing of those killed off early.

(The report, titled Public Finance Balance of Smoking in the Czech Republic, was prepared by the consulting firm Arthur D. Little International.)

Yum

Classic Chicken Breast: Chicken Breast Fillets with Rib Meat, Water, Seasoning (Salt, Oat Bran, Monosodium Glutamate, Oat Fiber, Sugar, Yeast Extract, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Spices [including Celery Seed], Natural Flavors, Chicken Broth, Chicken Fat, Citric Acid, Cooked Chicken, Grill Flavor [from Sunflower Oil]), Sodium Phosphates. Battered and Breaded with: Wheat Flour, Water, Modified Food Starch, Salt, Contains 2% or Less of: Extractives of Turmeric, Garlic Powder, Lactic Acid, Leavening (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Monocalcium Phosphate), Monosodium Glutamate, Natural Flavors, Onion Powder, Spice, Wheat Gluten. Breading Set in Vegetable Oil. Cooked In Vegetable Oil (Soybean, Canola, Corn and/or Cottonseed), Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Dimethylpolysiloxane (To Reduce Foaming).

A Couple of Products for You

The “Towel Skirt”

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Most Capable Boat in the

World

No need for docks and marinas. Launch

your boat from your home.

Iguana Yachts

(What good would the boat do me landing on the New Jersey Turnpike?)

Jingle Bells

I hope that the above product references are handy, though it is not even the middle of September. But Target reminds us that there are only 105 shopping days until Christmas.

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(1) https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/19/maine-police-officer-immigration-ice

 

What's In A Name?

We have just received a new report from our spy—er, “source”—in the White House. He reports that President Trump was so happy with his re-naming the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America that he was going to—in his words—“make American names America First names.”

In his first proclamation Trump will demand the re-naming of Mississippi, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and all other states with Indian names. “They’re losers, those redskins. We real Americans pushed them out of all the best territory. We can’t have our states named after losers.”

Next, Trump said, that after changing the Gulf of Mexico, it was time to rid the country of other Spanish names. Thus, Colorado, Montana, Florida, etc. would have to have their names changed to America First ones. “And who was the stupid person,” Trump asked, “who came up with New Mexico?”

Other places with names associated with foreign countries are also on Trump’s hit list: New York, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Orleans. “The worst of all, Trump declared, “was naming the whole northeast after the greatest losers of all, the losers of the Revolutionary War—New England!”

On the same topic, Trump scorned names after another country’s monarchs. “The Carolinas have to go. And Georgia. And Virginia. Only American monarchs should be celebrated.”

UPDATE

Our spy—er, “source”—just reported that the re-naming project has been indefinitely postponed. It seems that someone whispered into Trump’s ear that America itself was named after a foreigner—Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian. 

The last our spy heard was that Trump was mulling naming the whole country after a more acceptable European—Leif Erikson. 

He wouldn’t dare to try to name the country after himself—would he? 

Eradicating Discrimination a la Trump

The Trump administration has rescinded federal guidance requiring schools to provide a broad range of services to students who are not proficient in English.

Those services include language acquisition classes, supports for disabilities and access to grade-level curriculum materials.

The guidance was issued in 2015 under President Barack Obama. At that time, the Education and Justice Departments told school districts that failing to provide such services would violate Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, which seeks to prevent discrimination based on race and national origin.

But under President Trump, the White House has pursued a near-reversal of the federal government’s interpretation of Title VI. Instead of using the law to seek support for racial and ethnic minorities, as it was established to do, the administration has often argued that efforts to help groups such as immigrant and Black children are discriminatory toward other students. (Emphasis mine) (1)

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We here at drnormalvision.blogspot.com have exclusively learned of the Trump’s administration’s next moves against what it conceives as discrimination against majority groups. Here are three proposals that have received much debate within the ranks of high-level government officials and are just awaiting the final nod of approval by the president.

1. The president is expected to issue an executive order banning local communities from requiring handicapped parking spots. The justification for this order is that it is obviously discriminatory against non-handicapped drivers, who are barred from using those parking spots. Moreover, the non-handicapped are doubly disadvantaged by the fact that they cannot avail themselves of the choicest parking spots, those closest to the entrances to buildings, spots that are limited to handicapped drivers.
2. A proposal that has been controversial even within the committee advising the president is a move to force the removal of all braille signs in federal government buildings and to withhold funds from state and local communities that will not also do so. The rationale for the proposal is that the sighted community cannot avail itself of the signs and that, therefore, the unsighted of the country have an advantage over the sighted. Despite some disagreement among members of the committee, it is believed that the majority favoring the ban have the ear of Trump.
3. The third measure, which is a particular favorite of the president, is a complete closure of all libraries—public and private—and a ban on all reading matter (not just those under attack by censorship groups). The reason for these actions, which Trump is expected to advocate in a Truth Social screed, is that books are patently discriminatory against the illiterate. The bias that favors readers—and the superstructure that supports it—must be eliminated. As a subsidiary issue, the bias against the illiterate is expected to be used as a further accusation of unfairness in the administration’s battle against the nation’s colleges and universities.  

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Remember: You heard about it here first!

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(1)  https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/21/us/politics/trump-administration-education-instructions-english-learners.html?searchResultPosition=1

 

Who'll Stop the Rain?

The New York Times doesn’t run a comics page, but that doesn’t mean it offers no chuckles to the serious-minded reader. The other day it featured an article entitled “Who’ll Stop the Rain? At Some Weddings, the Answer is a Shaman.” The sub-head explains, “For high-end destination weddings, couples are increasingly hiring rain-stoppers to keep precipitation away.” 

As evidence The Times cites Swank Wong, who

arranged a Dom Pérignon champagne tower, fireworks, and multicolored smoke cannons that exploded as she and her husband, ZiGo Ng, 35, said “I do.” She invested in bouquets of orchids and roses, multiple outfit changes and Chanel and Chaumet jewelry. 

But perhaps her most critical investment? The rain-stopping shaman who Ms. Wong hired to guarantee sunshine on her wedding day. (1)

I asked my local shaman, Sherman, about couples who want protection from rain on their wedding day. “The advice I always give them,” he told me, “is to hire a hall.”

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Craziness about weddings is not limited to hiring witch doctors and such for ceremonies at exotic locations. New York magazine ran a piece shortly before The Times article about the increasing practice of the groom smashing his bride's face into the wedding cake. 

[I]n the past few years, viral “cake smashing” videos, in which one-half of the couple, usually the groom, enthusiastically hammers wedding cake into his bride’s face, have become a popular form of rage-inducing content. (2) 

I suppose, to some deranged minds, this action can be seen as a major Valentine’s statement. But even on the lowly plane of economics, the act of destroying a costly, specially-designed confectionary creation can be seen as a stupidly wasteful endeavor—not to mention a crass, demeaning action in and of itself. 

I am happy to report that the comments by the readers were uniformly indignant, many of the women stating that if it had happened to them, they would have started divorce proceedings the next day.

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Then again, I imagine that cake smashing is a minor irritant compared to the action of a woman in 1944:

A wife in Trenton bequeathed two dollars to her husband on condition that he use half of it to buy a rope to hang himself. (3)

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(1)  https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/12/travel/wedding-shaman-witch-rain-stopping-rituals.html?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20250816&instance_id=160670&nl=the-morning&regi_id=92908560&segment_id=204013&user_id=4610757384ecaf1ad328813857abb8ad

(2)  https://www.thecut.com/article/grooms-smashing-wedding-cake-brides-faces.html?_gl=1*1w2v3un*FPAU*MTA3NDYyNDAzOC4xNzUwNzk1MDQ3*_ga*NTYwNDg1Nzg1LjE2OTU4NTE2MzI.*_ga_DNE38RK1HX*czE3NTU0NzAxNzMkbzY2NSRnMSR0MTc1NTQ3MDE4OCRqNDUkbDAkaDg3NDg4MTc0Mg..*_fplc*VEJRN0tnSjBwZWJGVWc4ak1MYW1FVmw5SUthaFhpd2g5Tmh6RXlIckUwdTBRQVFkVkhGZ1BBY1d6aVpkZ05NS2swa1prREdzNExoZFZrNDNJaHA4YU9IMWp1RGlNYk9iT21HOSUyRjlMaThYTnlhTEE5RVF3YUhEdUZHeTlBemclM0QlM0Q.

(3)  The New Yorker, Sept. 23, 1944.