Today is Election Day. And it’s all rigged!
<<<<<>>>>>
Millions of unregistered voters will vote.
Green card holders will illegally vote.
Hordes of undocumented aliens will cast ballots.
In thousands of high school gyms Chinese thermostats will switch votes.
Hundreds of voting machines will mysteriously break down.
Polling place workers will “lose” thousands of ballots.
Polling place workers will “find” thousands of ballots.
Thousands of school buses will cross state lines and deposit strange people at polling places.
At nursing homes, attendants will fill in ballots for senile seniors.
Thousands of people will vote multiple times.
Millions of mail-in ballots will never arrive.
Millions of fake mail-in ballots will arrive.
Hundreds of people will find that their polling place has changed.
Polling places will run out of ballots.
<<<<<>>>>>
It’s all a fake! It’s all fraud! Cancel the election! Nullify the results!
Unless, of course, my candidate wins.
