Friday, February 16, 2018

Marco the Messenger

Today’s Absolutely True, Real Life Playlet

The Scene: The United States Senate floor.

Enter (stage right) Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky).

Glancing around the floor, McConnell spies who he’s looking for.

McConnell (waving): “Marco, can I have a word with you?”

Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida): “What’s up, Oh Leader of the Senate?”

McConnell: “You heading home to the Sunshine State this weekend?”

Rubio: “I’m on a 3 o’clock flight.”

McConnell: “If you’ve got room in your carry-on, I’ve a favor to ask of you.”

Rubio: “Yeah, sure.”

McConnell (pulling a manila envelope out of the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket): “I would appreciate it if you’d take this down home with you.”

Rubio: “Er, what is it?”

McConnell: “It’s the prayers of the whole Senate, for victims and their families, for the community of Parkland, and for the first responders.”

Rubio: “Oh gee, that’s great. Really à propos. But what am I supposed to do with it?”

McConnell: “Come on, Marco. You know your damn state better than I do. You must know who to give that to. Like the governor or the sheriff or the schools boss.”

Rubio: “Yeah right! But isn’t something missing?”

McConnell: “Huh?”

Rubio: “ Like “thoughts.” They go with “prayers,” don’t they?”

McConnell: “Damn, you’re right. How stupid of me. I’ll go around hustling them up now.”

Rubio (pointing to his watch): “Too late, Mac. I got to get over to my office right now, pick up my stuff, and scoot to the airport. My ride is probably waiting outside as we speak. Maybe you can save the thoughts for the next shooting.” (Exit)

McConnell (to himself): “Let's see: 'Schools should be places where children can learn, and faculty and staff can work, without fear of violence.’ . . . I wonder if I can work that in somehow. Ah, I get the picture!” (Exit)



What, You Don’t Believe me?

I got it straight from the horse’s mouth:

(Via The Atlantic)

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