Some Problems Are More Easily Solved Than Others

In the wake of another mass murder at a school by a perpetrator wielding an assault weapon (this time in Florida) the most brilliant of all reactions was that of House Majority Leader Paul Ryan (R-WI): "This is one of those moments where we just need to step back and count our blessings.” 

(All together now—Let’s Irving Berlinize:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings)

OK, wake up now.

A few other politicians who can’t use four-letter words (like “guns”) decided that all was not blessed. But they spoke about “school safety.”

Pres. Trump: "We are committed to working with state and local leaders to secure our schools . . .”

Gov. Rick Scott (R-FL): "We cannot lose another child in this country because of violence in our schools."

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While the solution to the school safety problem of kids throwing blackboard erasers at each other is not an easy fix, the problem of firearm assaults is. Remember how the country cured the problem of drug usage in schools and their vicinity?

Here’s the answer to guns in schools and their vicinity (and those legislators who are really concerned about budget deficits need not worry about breaking the bank on this). Just replace the existing signs with these:

Assuming the would-be firearms wielders are literate, they are sure to be warned off attacking schools.

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So, we’ve now ensured that there will be no future Columbines, Sandy Hooks, or Parklands. But what about firearms attacks on venues other than schools? What of Aurora, Colorado (movie theater)? Orange County, Florida (Pulse nightclub)? San Bernardino, California (workplace)? Sutherland Springs, Texas and Charleston, South Carolina (churches)? Omaha, Nebraska, Burlington, Washington, etc. (shopping malls)? Las Vegas, Nevada (outdoor concert)?

I suggest that the same solution will work for the prevention of gun violence in those places: Place the “Gun-Free Zone” signs in those venues. That’ll stop the miscreants. And since those sneaky buggers might search out other vulnerable public places—such as airports, train stations, supermarkets, etc.—we should place the signs all over the country, in every public space.

Think of it: Since firearms would be forbidden to be carried into any public space, the AR-15 lovers of the USA would be restricted to fondling them only in their own homes. 

Problem solved!